To be connected, to feel one`s self . . . . . No. 2 : safety

As already written in the previous post: Fear is an automatic disconnector from one`s self and the universe. So that said one is automatically on autopilot, once one becomes afraid, or let`s say on ego-pilot, unconscious and oblivious of what is really happening, wrapped in an ego`s illusion of reality.

The simple definition of illusion is "not perceiving things as they really are". Perception itself is an illusory device, because we never perceive anything as it actually is. We could say that reality is merely different configurations of vibrating energy in a quantum flux. How we view that reality will always be in distortion. Then there are psychological illusions that only exist to the perceiver, such as fear. Fear in it`s essence is an energy pattern usually in the mind of the perceiver.

Let us look at fear more closely. How is fear perceived?

Fear is a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in a response to a specific stimulus, that is external or internal, meaning without any action made by the outside world at the present time or otherwise.

In the most basic function, the only constructive function, is one that comes from us being natural beings that once lived in nature, exposed to the elements and other animals: fear is the ability to recognize danger and flee from it, or confront it, also known as the fight or flight response, an instant reaction to something presently happening and necessary for our physical survival.

Fear can be widely classified into two types: external fear and internal fear.

• External fear is caused by something outside of one`s self
  
• Internal fear is something inside of one`s self that one links a negative emotion of fear with, for example: fear developed out of low self esteem.

Or one can classify fear as a feeling that has to do with an immediate threat to one`s physical existence and serves as an activator for one`s actions that ensure physical survival. This feeling is a primal natural mechanism and is constructive, that said this feeling is basically non existent in the modern world, because it has to do with the primal natural order of physical survival in nature. The other is fear as an emotion that is the construct of one`s mind and it is not a part of one`s essence, this kind of fear is one that dominates the modern global society. So, fear is one of the most prevalent illusory perceptions in today`s world. One sees it in every day life and it is based on the illusory belief that someone or something outside ourselves can harm or destroy our peace of mind. So basically it is one`s mind that has the illusion and it is not even a fear that comes out of the threat for one`s physical body at that moment and thus has nothing to do with one`s wellbeing in reality-for what fear was actually constructed in nature. One can call this emotional fear or fear as an illusion. Some of the more popular emotional fears are: fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being powerfull enough or being powerless, fear of not being accepted, of being alone, fear of being manipulated, fear of being taken advantage of (both have to do with trust issues), fear of feelings of guilt (that have to do with not accepting and loving one`s self), etc.

Emotional fears are very destructive in nature and not only that they disconnect one from one`s own true essence, but also one is only able to perceive the world through the egoic mind, thus one feeds one`s ego and is in a way smothering and killing one`s own true essence in the process. The main symptoms are a need to "have", a need for "power", a need of "satisfaction", "worry", "anxiety", "terror", "horror", "panic", and "dread", that happen when one identifies one`s self with the emotion of fear, meaning that one becomes fear and there is nothing left for one to be an actuall person, being. To identify, as already said in other post, means to make something same and identifications are all constructed to feed one`s ego, that can never have enough and always needs more. It can also result in different kinds of physical disease when the homeostatic equilibrium is out of balance for long periods of time, especially when one has unresolved emotional fear that one avoids in a way of suppressing it into the subconscious.

Emotional fear can be described with different terms in relation to the degree of fear that is experienced. It varies from mild caution to extreme phobia and paranoia. Fear is related to a number of additional cognitive and emotional states including worry, anxiety, terror, horror, panic, and dread. Experiences of fear can remain long after exposure in the unconscious mind.

If, for example, one is abused as a child in some form or another (even emotionally), one learns in the early childhood that people can not be trusted, or in other words one develops a fear of people in some way or the other, one experiences this as distrust of people, even a constant distrust of people one knows well and that have never showed any real cause for the distrust (cause that is outside of the illusory perception of one being distrustful), which is an illusion, or a delusion. A delusion is a belief that is either mistaken or not substantiated that is held with vehemence. Everything that is a fear based illusion ends up being destructive to one`s self and others and it disconnect one`s self, thus one is not able to perceive true joy and happiness in one`s life.

Don Miguel Ruitz wrote: “I want you to imagine that you live on a planet where everyone has a skin disease. For thousands of years people have suffered the same disease. Their entire bodies are covered by wound that are infected, and they really hurt when you touch them. Of course people of this planet believe this is a normal physiology of the skin. Even the medical books describe this disease as a normal condition. When the people are born, their skin is healthy, but around three or four years of age, the first wounds start to appear. By the time they are teenagers, there are wounds all over their bodies. Can you imagine how these people are going to threat each other? In order to relate to one another they have to protect their wounds. They hardly ever touch each other`s skin, because it is too painful. If by accident you touch someone`s skin, it is so painful that right away that person gets angry and touches your skin, just to get even. Still the instinct of love is so strong that people on the planet pay a high price to have relationships with others. Can you imagine yourself with healthy skin in a world where everyone has a skin disease? You can not touch others because it hurts them, and no one touches you, because they make the assumption that it will hurt you.”

“If you can imagine this, perhaps you can understand someone from another planet, who came to visit us and would have a similar experience with humans." 

But it isn`t our skin that is diseased, it is the human mind that is sick with the disease called fear and labeling (that derieved out of fear and laziness) . Fear  produces illusions, delusions, thus the blindness and blindness produces fear, doesn`t it? Being afraid of that which we can not see is very logical isn`t it? Fear is also based on illusions, on something that may or may not happen, but because we symplified everything, we can`t really be sure, can we? Because we do not see the essence, the truth, we actually have no idea what is really going on. We base our life decisions on illusions. we do not even ask our surroundings for feedback, to confirm that the illusion we have made is even a functional representation of the essence. We are so sure in our illusions that we judge, blame and even kill, yes even kill, before we ask questions, before we have even a shadow of a doubt. Isn`t that interesting? Fear produced by illusions has us doubting everything around us, except the illusion which is buy itself a doubtful entity. The manifestations of the disease caused by believing in the illusion of assumptions and fear are: anger, hate, sadness, envy and hypocrisy....thus the suffering.

When one becomes disconnected because of fear, one does not feel one`s self and is not connected to the essence of one`s self and life. In this state one can not feel others, other beings, can not feel love, can not give love and can not receive love and can not feel compassion. One can only be destructive to self (the essence, the being) and the environment and feels others as something separate from self (egoic self), and as potential obstacles in the path of one`s happiness. There are off course obstacles to one`s own happiness in this case, but they are not external, they are internal, derived from one`s own illusions. This are the main points where one can apply awareness, so that one knows that the disconnection has occurred and that one is definitely not feeling one`s self and is most probably destructive, thus producing negative energy and creative a hell like reality.

When one identifies with fear and disconnects, one feels powerless, so the ego steps in to fill the void. One way can be through avoidance, (usually accompanied with some form of emotional violence towards others) but because nothing gets resolved the problem persists and the world of the individual and the activities one feels safe doing are lesser and lesser, so one puts one`s self in a box, so to speak. Few of the ways of filling up the void, that are the most destructive is through control or obtaining power from or over other beings (human or otherwise) in order to feel safe, which is done through manipulation and different forms of violence: emotional, verbal, psychological, physical, sexual, economical, etc. It is important to know that every act with intent (conscious or unconscious) that belittles and makes one feel and seem "less" is a form of violence a manifestation of the ego filling up the void of the illusion of, in this case "safety", through making somebody else even smaller and even more powerless. The less energy one can get from the natural way, one has to supplement the shortage with egoic power, with the destructive ways just described, that are actually energy from others.

Fear, emotional or otherwise is a sign that something has to be learned in order to progress, it has a tendency of repeating a situation in one`s life over and over, until one learns and inner growth happens, that is freeing. Fear is something to know, understand, observe and it is not meant to be avoided, because when avoidance is the choice, one becomes a slave and one`s universe becomes smaller and smaller. It is important not to identify and become one`s fear, because an energy pattern  in the mind of the perceiver becomes destructive and closed to the life`s energy, one is than closed and the fear overcomes one`s own realty. When one stays fully present with fear, one can clearly see that fear is something separate, it is an emotion, a message, and at the same time one can feel the essence of one`s self (staying connected to the life`s flow) and observes everything about the sensation of fear, without identifying with it: it`s texture, bodily sensation, color even, how it arises, how it dissolves, what thoughts it generates, what actions one takes, how it is denied, etc. One goes into the fear experience to learn about one`s self, to find the truth behind the emotion. The saying "The truth shall set you free" than speaks for itself. Avoiding is the fear itself. Only awareness without identification, through observation dispels it, and thus one stays connected to one`s self and is able to be constructive, with positive energy. The truth behind the emotions, knowing one`s illusions , how they work, how to go about learning from them, means having liberated one`s self from fear and avoidance and freeing one`s self to be able to be connected. That is the only true way to find inner joy and happiness in ones life.

Fear and other emotions are merely the instruments that show us a path to inner joy and happiness and are not something to be afraid of, or avoided all together. They are there for one`s realization where one is not aware enough and possibly is doing things in an unconscious and automatic way, so observation and awareness is needed and exploration of that what one is meant to learn in order to progress and be in coherence with one`s essence and the universe. One can not learn and change that of which one is not aware of, the only thing that shows us the way are signs that manifest through emotions and reveal the workings of one`s own egoic mind that are in a fact parts that are blocked for life`s energy flow.

One can choose to be connected with one`s essence, thus the universe. If a "problem" comes up, one can be aware that: "All is well", everything is working out for the highest good. Out of the experience only good can come, when one is aware and observes and learns about one`s self. By being aware of the reality: "I am safe", one can calm down and start to answer the question: "What is it, that I am supposed to learn from this experience at hand?" and one will learn in the best possible way for all and bring personal and universal growth and also freedom to one`s self. Life is joy.

To be connected, to feel one`s self . . . . . No. 1: the ego

How to feel one`s self, how to find the true essence of one`s self ?

Although everybody knows the expressions: "I do not know what I want anymore, I feel as if I am lost"or "I feel disconnected" or "I do not know, if I love you anymore, I do not know what I want".

To get to the true essence of who "one`s self" really is, let`s begin with the words of Eckhart Tolle, because he wrote it so beautifully:

"The word “I” embodies the greatest error and the deepest truth, depending on how it is used. In conventional usage, it is not only one of the most frequently used words in the language (together with the related words: “me,” “my,” “mine,” and “myself”) but also one of the most misleading. In normal everyday usage, “I” embodies the primordial error, a missperception of who you are, an illusory sense of identity. This is the ego. What you usually refer to when you say “I” is not who you are."

"When a young child learns that a sequence of sounds produced by the parents’ vocal cords is his or her name, the child begins to equate a word, which in the mind becomes a thought, with who he or she is. At that stage, some children refer to themselves in the third person. “Johnny is hungry.” Soon after, they learn the magic word “I” and equate it with their name, which they have already equated with who they are. Then other thoughts come and merge with the original I thought. The next step are thoughts of me and mine to designate things that are somehow part of “I.” This is identification with objects, which means investing things, but ultimately thoughts that represent things, with a sense of self, thereby deriving an identity from them. When “my” toy breaks or is taken away, intense suffering arises. Not because of any intrinsic value that the toy has  the child will soon lose interest in it, and it will be replaced by other toys, other objects – but because of the thought of “mine”. The toy became part of the child’s developing sense of self, of “I.” And so as the child grows up, the original I thought attracts other thoughts to itself: It becomes identified with a gender, possessions, the sense perceived body, a nationality, race, religion, profession. Other things the “I” identifies with are roles – mother, father, husband, wife, and so on, accumulated knowledge or opinions, likes and dislikes, and also things that happened to “me” in the past, the memory of which are thoughts that further define my sense of self as “me and my story.” These are only some of the things people derive their sense of identity form. They are ultimately no more than thoughts held together precariously by the fact that they are all invested with a sense of self. This mental construct is what you normally refer to when you say “I.” To be more precise: Most of the time it is not you who speaks when you say or think “I” but some aspect of that mental construct, the egoic self."  .

"One of the most basic mind structures through which the ego comes into existence is identification. The word “identification” is derived from the Latin word idem, meaning “same” and facere, which means “to make.” So when I identify with something, I “make it the same.” The same as what? The same as I. I endow it with a sense of self, and so it becomes part of my “identity.” One of the most basic levels of identification is with things: My toy later becomes my car, my house, my clothes, and so on. I try to find myself in things but never quite make it and end up losing myself in them. That is the fate of the ego."

The ego identifies with having, which does not necessarily mean the material having it can also mean having different  kinds of identifications, such as: having power, being right, or having the "right" opinion, having the "right way of doing something ("my way is the "right" way"), etc. Everything that deals with a hierarchy, of something being better than something else, or being more "right", and thus something or somebody is automatically "less", (being "more" of something ) that is the construct of the ego and is a total illusion. Concealed within it remains a deep seated sense of dissatisfaction, of incompleteness, of “not enough.” “I don't have enough yet,” by which the ego really means, “I am not enough yet, I have to make more people "wrong and me right" or "smaller" than me (by making them feel as something less, or by making me more right, or by controlling other people)”, or one has to be accepted and liked by people and one is never accepted and liked by enough people and has a very hard time when somebody does not like the ego based facade one is projecting in to the world. In the last case it is about being liked by enough people, or put in a another way "having enough people like me", so "having", that is never full non the less.

Even when one looks at charity of an individual it can come from one`s need for having a good opinion about one`s self and the intention of those charitable acts are in essence very different compared to an act of charity coming from self love and compassion. The intent is different because in the first example the individual or the people on the receiving end do not matter really, they just represent the means of how one can feel better about one`s self nothing more and the main purpose is to satisfy one`s own ego, so the whole action is ego based and the "charitable person" is automatically something "more", "better" and can have a good opinion about one`s self. The second example is different because it comes from the place of feeling and being connected, from love and compassion which in it`s essence does not look at an individual, in need of help as a lesser being. but rather views everybody as equal beings. That said, there is a huge difference between empathy, sympathy and compassion.

The ego has constructed a lot of ways in how to fill up the void of not feeling, or not being enough, or not having enough, or feeling powerless. Few of the ways that are the most destructive is through control or obtaining power from or over other beings (human or otherwise), which is done through manipulation and different forms of violence: emotional, verbal, psychological, physical, sexual, economical, etc. It is important to know that every act with intent (conscious or unconscious) that belittles and makes one feel and seem "less" is a form of violence a manifestation of the ego filling up the void of the illusion of "not enough", through making somebody else even smaller or less important or powerless.

This “I” or “me” and all of the labels, in this case, are of course not the true essence of who one is, it is just the ego and it`s identifications.

Let`s look at what is really going on in the case of ego and it`s needs:
the ego is an always hungry entity that in never satisfied and the more one feeds it, the more it is hungry. Hungry for material things, identifications, labels,....., or in other words it is hungry for power. But what power really is? Ego power is merelly an illusion, it is a strive for happiness, for a feeling of being worthy, of being strong and not having to be afraid. Afraid? What does fear have to do with it one asks? Everything. But lets now first look closely at the egoic power.

When one identifies with the ego, and believes that the ego is actually one`s true self, that is when the disconnection from one`s true self happens. That is not to say that it happens on all levels of being, it just means that the more one identifies with all of the constructs of ego, the more one becomes disconnected from one`s self. What that really means is that one is disconnected from the life`s energy, the flow and also that one forgets who he or she really is, thus one can not feel joy, love and happiness all around us.

                                                                      

This is actually where the conflict lies, because the deeper the disconnection is and the deeper the identification with the ego is, the less energy one can get from the natural way. Instead of that one has to supplement the shortage with egoic power, that is actually energy from others. Nowadays the physicists did discover that all materials are just forms of energy in a solid state and that everything that we know to be, is actually just different forms of energy. So, it makes sense once one looks at it from this perspective: if one is disconnected, one will look for the shortage of energy elsewhere, depending upon what gives one the best artificial satisfaction. The problem is that everything that is ego based is short lived, as Eckhart already said, that is why one can never have enough, one can never belittle enough and maybe the most important one: can never stop being violent. Never. Because it is unconscious (oposite of  being conscious ) and jet necessary for the sustainment of the identification of the ego. That said, fear also plays a big role in it.

Fear is an automatic disconnector from one`s self and the universe. So that said one is automatically on autopilot, once one becomes affraid, or let`s say on ego-pilot, unconscious and oblivious of what is really happening, wrapped in an ego`s ilusion of reality.

Energetic Attraction

From an interesting article by Robert Burney:

Energetic attraction between two individuals is metaphysical. "Metaphysical means beyond the physical - that is beyond the concrete three-dimensional reality that we experience, that can be seen and measured.  One of the reasons that emotions have been so discounted in Western Civilization has been because it is not possible to take an x-ray and see that we have unresolved grief from the past that is knocking our system out of balance and causing us to be depressed.  Emotions have also been discounted in Eastern Civilization although the Eastern approach to medicine and science is much more Holistic in general and does acknowledges the existence of energies of a metaphysical nature." 

"There is literal vibrational Truth to such expressions as being "on the same wave length" with someone. There are people whom one has a closer vibrational relationship to than other people - people who one can feel closer and more connected to within a few hours of meeting them than one does to people one has known his or her whole life.  The people one connects with in these ways are Kindred Spirits, and they are members of what could be called our vibrational tribe or stream.  A few of those Kindred Spirits are soul mates.  In addition, we all have a twin soul - we have been separated from because of the condition of polarity that has so dictated the human condition for tens of thousands of years." 

"The Truth is that someone can feel familiar in a way that recreates our wounding with our parents / patterns - and be a soul mate also.  In fact, it is inevitable that when one does meet someone who is one`s soul mate - or even more powerfully one`s  twin soul - there will be "Karma" to settle."

"In a disease defense system one builds up huge walls to protect oneself and then - as soon as one meets someone who will help to repeat the patterns of abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and/or deprivation - one lowers the drawbridge and invites them in.  In the codependency, each of us have radar systems which cause us to be attracted to, and attract to us, the people, who for us personally, are exactly the most untrustworthy (or unavailable or smothering or abusive or whatever we need to repeat our patterns) individuals - exactly the ones who will "push our buttons", or in other words activate our "pain body".

This happens because those people feel familiar.  Unfortunately in childhood the people whom we trusted the most - were the most familiar - hurt us the most.  So the effect is that we keep repeating our patterns and being given the reminder that it is not safe to trust ourselves or other people."

"Western Civilization (in reaction to earlier ages when it was out of balance to the other extreme of allowing superstition to rule) does not acknowledge that multiple levels of reality exist and as a result, has been way out of balance towards the left brain way of thinking - rational, logical, concrete, what you see is all there is. Because emotional energy could not be seen or measured or weighed, and was not sanctioned by the AMA, emotions were discounted and devalued." 

"It is because there is more than one level of reality that life is paradoxical in nature.  What is True and positive on one level - selfishness out of Spiritual Self, that is actually self love from being conscious, can be negative on another level - selfishness out of ego-self.  What a caterpillar calls the end of the world, God calls a butterfly. Humans have always had expressions that describe the paradoxical nature of the life experience.  Every ending is a beginning.  Every cloud does have a silver lining.  For every door that closes, another door does open.  It is always darkest before the dawn.  Every obstacle is a gift, every problem is an opportunity for growth.

These are all expressions that refer to the paradoxical nature of life - the seeming contradictions that are a result of the multiple levels of reality.  When we start to understand and recognize that there are multiple levels of reality, then we can begin to unravel the paradox and see how all of the pieces fit together perfectly."

"What is to be found is that in many instances even though the levels that one can see, that one is conscious of, are mostly dysfunctional - arising out of the false beliefs and fears of the disease of codependency - on deeper levels there are "right on" reasons for behaviors for which one was judging oneself, the areas of one`s life in which one is unconscious of, or unaware. And on a much deeper level an individual can come to understand that one is - and has been, ever since polarization - looking for one`s twin soul."

There are always multiple levels of reality, of vibrational energy dynamics, involved in this human experience we are having. It is vital to start seeing one`s own internal dynamics more clearly in order to start practicing discernment in one`s relationships.  The Truth is that someone can feel familiar in a way that recreates one`s wounding with our parents / patterns and be a soul mate also.  In fact, it is inevitable that when one does meet someone who is our soul mate, or even more powerfully the twin soul,  there will be an opportunity of healing our emotional wounds through becoming conscious, or aware of one`s own emotional wounds ("the pain body") and the healing necessary for a harmonious relationship, with the responsibility of one`s own energy that one brings in to it. What it does mean is, that we have been given an incredibly wonderful, immensely valuable, probably excruciatingly painful at times, opportunity for emotional healing, Spiritual growth, and "Karmic" settlement.

It is very important to be paying attention to the lessons being presented, to make the most of the opportunity that can potentially be the greatest, most sublime gift one have ever received on the path of life. Working through the issues  involved one can go to a level of emotional intimacy, of opening of hearts to loving and being loved. A union of two beings in body with such an energetic connection creates an transcendent energetic connection with The Source more powerful than any single being can access individually.